Legacy and Such

Lately I have been considering what sort of legacy I will leave for my children and grandchildren. I wonder what they will say about their mother, how the way I live my life will influence they way they view the world and choose to live. Whether or not they will know and love my Jesus for themselves. Whether they will see in our home genuine respect and trust and affection, if they will see more good than bad, and if at the end of the day they will choose to model their lives much the same way… I wonder if my life, my standards, my conduct will be something in which they find value, pride, and a sense of confidence in who they become as a result of their parentage.

I consider it often during my prayer time, but these days I’ve been considering it just throughout the course of my days… what sort of men do I want my sons to become? What will it take to get them there? What about daughters? In a society where commonality is the key and a ‘laissez les bon temps rouller’ attitude seems to be the lifestyle of choice, how can I teach my children to be peculiar? How can I teach them to be bold in their faith? Will my husband be a man after whom my sons can truly model their lives? At the end of the day, will he really take spiritual responsibility for our family or will that continue to fall on me?

For that matter, how will my faith ultimately affect my husband? Will it move him to grow or will it drive him further away?

I pray so often over these things, over us as a couple, over my children – even the ones who have yet to be conceived. God has put in my heart such a passion for their faith lives that it just almost overwhelms me. There is so much that I hope for them. I want to know their strengths and their weaknesses, the things that will be their thorns in the side, the parts of their nature that will allow them to grow into the pre-destined people of the Kingdom they are created to be. I want to shape and mold their hearts for Christ, in light of who they are individually and the call that I know God has on us as a family. I want them to be confident, self-aware, secure young people and adults – people who’s lives impact others in a positive, indelible way.

I want them to be beautiful.

I look at my past, my family’s history and his past, his present, his family’s history and I wonder what it will take for my men to break the cycles that are so destructive and my women to bear the responsibility that will land squarely in their laps as their lives unfold…

And then I find myself asking God to do whatever it takes to win their hearts and for their lives to reflect Him fully at work in them…

Such a frightening thing to pray, because me and sweetheart are living proof that He answers those prayers in some totally not comfortable ways. So weighty in my heart because I know that it’s the heart He’s given me for my family, to seek Him in such a way…

But the alternative is that I leave them to chance; and I love them far too much to take that risk. So as I pray for their character and lives and futures, I pray also for our characters and lives and futures. Because when it’s all said and done, when they are living life on their own, when they are (prayerfully) living life after I’m in heaven, I want them to look at me, to recall my years with them, and to find that they’ve been given a legacy of love, faith, obedience, responsibility, maturity, respect, and christ-likeness that they find themselves compelled to perpetuate in their lives, homes, families and children…

The people we are, who we choose to become… There is probably nothing more important or impactful… nothing at all… and I want desperately for my children to know that truth and to live by it because we have mirrored that sort of deliberate process in our own lives.

I want them to have something to pass along to their families for generations to come – something that when all else passes away, it can be drawn from and built upon – just like my parents and grandparents have given to me… I want them to know the love that comes from a life lived with them in mind.

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