Balancing Act

So. I’m thinkin’ about this thing of preparing. What does it mean in this season of life? How does it look? What do I have to do? All that sort of thing…

My conclusions? I don’t have a clue. πŸ™‚

It really is just a set of thoughts floating in my head and, as things usually go, one thought leads to another to another to another and I hit a rabbit trail…

let’s just journey down this one together πŸ™‚

Because I’m such a high-strung, methodical, all-my-duck-in-a-row kinda chick, I find it extremely challenging to be in the moment and not get too far ahead in my planning and thinking…

But. Don’t you have to plan and think in advance of right now if you’re gonna be prepared for later on? Isn’t that how this thing works?

There’s just gotta be a balance. There has to be!

As all this crossed mind, I’m really finding myself mulling it over. And what I think I’m coming to believe – at least for me – is that the preparation part isn’t really about putting a plan down on paper or having all the ducks lined up nice and neat like little soldiers. It isn’t about creating a rigid set of expectations that leave no room for life to happen. It’s about sitting with the Lord, allowing Him to give the overview. Allowing Him to speak to the things that He wants to do in my life in the *insert time frame here* ahead. It’s about some serious praying and some spiritual dedication beyond just ‘thankΒ  you Lord’ or ‘Lord you know I love you’ or some other generic form of routine interaction.

It’s really about being close enough to catch the glimpses and feast on the things that He reveals only when you make time to abide. Carving out time to shut everything else off and just be inΒ  His presence. He’s the one doing the preparing. My only job is to be a willing recipient of His desire to share with me.

Somewhere inside I knew this. I’ve done this plenty of times before. Except I never called it preparing. I just called it prayer time.

Early in this Job season, when my life came to a screeching halt and all I had was time, I spent hours at a time at God’s feet learning to discover and discern Him. It was during all that alone time that I began to clearly recognize Him speaking to me and that I began to realize that He wasn’t giving me just a ‘right now’ revelation. He was giving me information to store and use when the need arose. So much so that there were times I’d think ‘nah. you’re just imagining that. that doesn’t make sense.’ and then I’d put it in the back of my mind – only to discover later that what I had dismissed as just my own mind had been the Holy Spirit giving me a heads-up.

Now that life is taking shape again and things seem to be in constant motion, that time is harder and harder to come by. Rather than having hours and hours, I have to be creative and intentional in how and when I focus in on the Lord’s revelation and guidance. I have to give the invitation and then make the effort to find just a few minutes at a time to drink up what He’s got for me…

All while – u guessed it – being present in the moments that make up life.

So wierd as I type it out. The balance seems to come almost a by-product of the need to make it happen:

  • early morning before it’s time to get up – be still and wait
  • driving to work – worship and talk to the Lord
  • @ my desk – listen to music and wait for Him to make Himself known
  • speaking w/clients – pay attention to my heart and intuition
  • restroom break (tmi – but let’s just keep it real) – ok Lord, I just need u to meet me for a minute or two
  • talking to Mister – one ear tuned to other than what’s being said; praying silently as we tackle decisions and plan for what we decide.
  • time just relaxing w/Mister – he’s sleeping, I’m praying. Not out loud, just taking the opportunity to rest w/him and cover him.
  • a thought comes to mind or a concern rises: Lord, show me what you mean. Lord, please blah blah blah.
  • before I sleep: kneel and begin to praise… lay down and listen for what comes next (because prayer is a two way street – a conversation between you and God). Sometimes I talk more sometimes not. Sometimes it’s just time to be still.

All this as life is moving and I’m moving with it.

There’s that balance.

Recognizing the opportunities to experience God and invite Him to meet you and being able to live out what He’s giving you instruction and insight about.

He told me this season would be this way. I just had no clue how it would show up or what it would take to tackle it…

Whole new way of doing life these days.

Excited and expectant. And glad about it. πŸ™‚

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